ALIVE 

"Home is wherever we are if there's love here too"

People definitely looked at me today and thought "Why the heck is she so happy on a thursday afternoon getting soaked by the rain walking through a thunderstorm". The answer is because with every rain drop I felt, with every thunder that raddled, every crack I tripped over (then laughed at myself for tripping), every tear I felt fall down my face - just made me realize how alive I truly am. As corny as that sounds, that is exactly what I was thinking as I was walking home from the journalism school in the rain. (And by the way, I was the only one bundled up because apparently people here don't think rain is a good enough reason to be wearing warm clothing, which just gave them even more of a reason to look at me strange).

Even with a soaked beanie and drenched hair, I realized I just need to smile. So that's exactly what I did. Through the pit in my stomach I feel from missing home - my family, friends, the beach, the familiarities - through the stress I have to follow my dreams in a way that will make me successful, through the hole in my heart & tear in my eye from the feeling of a missing puzzle piece, through the pain from the last rain drop that hit me in the eye - I smiled. I got some weird looks but I didn't care, that actually just made it better.

So walking down 16th street in the storm, I bobbed my head and snapped my fingers to the new Jack Johnson album, I sang, I danced, I laughed, I smiled, I cried. People seriously thought I was insane. But eventually those people vanished, and all that mattered was that I am alive. 

I have learned that happiness depends soley upon you. You determine whether or not you are smiling in this moment of life. You decide how you are going to take the circumstances you are given. So...why not smile? 

GAME DAY

        I have been hearing "there is nothing like a Husker game" for so long now that the anticipation was getting unbearable. Finally I attended my first Big Red football game three weeks ago. 

Just walking into the stadium you could feel the sense of family coming from the fans simply because you had the common thought in wearing red. Let me back up a few hours to the tailgate. I walked to "the bottoms" (little, run down houses that are perfect for college-kid parties) with a sophomore from my sorority. Did I mention it was 100 degree with 60% humidity? Ya. I thought I was dying. Anyway - we finally reached the house and were just about the last ones there. We arrived at 1 o'clock and the game started at 7. People were there since 8 am. Sorry, but I just cannot do that. We had our very own DJ and everything. BP in one corner, dancing in the center, and ice luges in the other corner. At one point, my friend ran up to me and said "this next song is for you!" as we were dancing. The next song came on, and what other song but "California Gurls" by Katy Perry right? She, along with others, started screaming and pointing at me until eventually all the people around us were staring at me confused. Then one, pretty intoxicated, kid said "hey aren't you from California?" Long story short, it was a good time. Pretty crazy, but super fun.

Now began the walk across the bridge and to the stadium. I was finally receiving the honor of being part of the "sea of red". As I looked around at all the ecstatic fans to reach their seats, I felt so at home away from home. It was awesome. We reached the gate we were entering and on it said "Through these gates pass the greatest fans in college football" and I didn't doubt that for a second. To anyone who is not a Husker fan that is reading this, I am not ragging on you at all! It is just a totally different feeling to be part of this camaraderie. 

We find great seats in the student section and get there just in time for the famous tunnel walk. The entire team walks together out of the locker room, down the red carpet, hits the lucky horse shoe, one senior holds the flag in front, and out of the gates they walk onto the field to the most excited crowd of people I've experienced. We love the team and they love us. As the team is running onto the field, and the crowd is emerging making the stadium the second largest city in Nebraska, I took a moment to take it all in and scan every inch of the stadium knowing I'd want to write about it later. No picture does it justice. There isn't anyone who is not smiling, cheering, jumping up and down, laughing, having a good time and not wearing red.

One thing about Nebraska, besides the entire state being fans , is that it is the classiest group of fans I have encountered. I know I am a Nebraska fan so it may seem biased, but that wasn't always the case. I have witnessed some poor sportsmanship from other teams - nothing beats Nebraska's welcoming, homey attitude even to the opponent. 

It is extremely hard to put into words this experience, it is really something you have to try for yourself. If I were you, I'd add "go to a Husker football game" to your bucket list. Oh…and Go Big Red.

CLUSTER OF KNOWLEDGE 

When life is boring write your own story.
     Journalism. What is journalism? < Rhetoric. Life. What is life? < Repetition.
     I don't know if I could call it an epiphany, but I definitely had some sort of new insight on the reality of the power of words after my first ever college class. The first thing my teacher says to us, for my rhetoric argumentative writing class, is "Do not write me something you think I'll give you an A for, just f***ing write what you think should be heard. I'm divorced, if he couldn't make me happy neither can you. Oh - and if profanity isn't your thing, this isn't the class for you." At this point I was not exactly sure what to think. I was definitely cracking up because it just seemed so ridiculous to hear a teacher saying these things, but at the same time I began to really respect her from that moment on. Finally a teacher who is genuine.
     Words can go so many different directions. Words can be the best gift you could ever possibly give or receive. Or words can be used as a weapon, they can feel more painful than physically being jabbed. This makes journalism such a diverse and fun major. This lesson makes journalism feel more important to me than people put it out to be. Although I am specifically planning on sports journalism, this first class made me want to change the world through language. As crazy as that sounds, words are more powerful than we give them credit for.
     Grouping words together in writing, speaking, song, etc. is a cluster of knowledge. My next journalism-related class, Principles of Mass Media, made me so excited to become an artist through writing. Some people paint, others write/play music, I write. We dissected a story and my professor continuously pointed out certain writing techniques that most English teachers would tell you to not do.
     Like writing one sentence paragraphs.
     And starting sentences with "and". But these things make writing unique. Fun. (Oh, and one word sentences aren't allowed either). Oops.
    I guess my point of this whole thing is to share my thoughts on the capability and influence of words. It is so exhillerating to get ideas across through the clustering of letters into words of your choosing to paint a portrait of your thoughts for everyone to see. The words you choose are your colors, the style of writing is your type of paint. To you, this may seem like a cluster of a bunch of pointless words and an irrelevant opinion that does not make sense, but to me it's my most recent masterpiece.